Domestic Goddess I am not

Someone sent me this email, I thought it was too good not to share.

AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES

1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic.Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throatand presto! The blockage will almost instantlyremove itself.

2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicingvegetables by getting someone else to hold them whileyou chop away.

3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting thetoilet seat by simply using the sink.

4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cutyourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducingthe pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.

5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock,will prevent you from rolling over and going back tosleep after you hit the snooze button.

6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose oflaxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.

7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with ahammer and you will forget all about the toothache.

8. Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rulesof life really are: You only need two tools - WD-40and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use theWD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the ducttape.

9. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get toknow them.

Thought for the day:
Some People are like slinkies. They are not really good for anything but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs.